tender moments make it worth it

We are all tired.

The novelty of harvest is over.

We are hanging on by a string, waiting to get daddy back.

I am done trying to plan fun activities. I am done the outtings to distract us. We've done all that.

Now we just wait.

And we are going crazy.

My baby woke up several times between 5 am and 6:30 am this morning. I was already awake (see tomorrows post) and so it really wasn't that big of a deal, but in that time, I decided to stop fighting him (which is allllll I'm doing these days!) and just snuggle him. So we snuggled, and both he and I were quite pleased with the arrangement. Those few moments of quiet, tender love made the trials of the last weeks melt away... until someone else woke up and needed help going to the bathroom.

Then, this morning doing school with my oldest was so 'off'. I don't know what it was about it... but he was not performing as he can. His reading was 'off', his writting was 'off'. He did some good math and story creating, but he was so distracted and losing focus constantly. I was loooooosing my patience.

This 'mood' didn't end after nap time. Everything was going wrong. He didn't want to play with his brothers. He didn't want to move his toys. He knocked over a clock. So in extreme frustration I sighed and said, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!" I pulled him onto my lap and he cried, and cried... and cried. He said, "I miss daddy." We talked about all this, and he's quite mature in his understanding. He 'gets' harvest. He knows that this is not easy for daddy. He knows that he's lucky to spend time with daddy in the combine. He 'gets' it. But he still just misses daddy, and he can't wait until he's home again and we can have normal life. So we both cried as we held each other. He really held me. And he needed me to comfort him. Sigh...

and then we dreamed- about staying in a hotel with a waterslide after harvest is done, skating on the pond once the snow flies, and wrestle and chase every night before bed. I am thankful that he has a father who is so worth missing.

it's those tender moments that make it worth it.