is it ever enough?

I don't often give into the pressures of society telling me that my children should be doing such and such a thing... but when I am doing aligned homeschooling this year, I am feeling some weight on my shoulders.

My facilitator assures me that my gr.1 student is achieving or exceeding grade level in all areas right now.

But sometimes when I am working with him on reading or math, or when said facilitator sends me an email with strategies and suggestions, I get all panicky.  I wonder if I am doing enough grammar, spelling, or if he has a big enough sight word vocabulary? Am I reading enough to them? Do they know how to choose a good book? Is his writing good enough? Have I taught him story structure? Does he know how to plan a story? Does he know a variety of writing formats? He doesn't have his math facts memorized? He isn't doing enough mental math!!! He still writes his numbers backwards sometimes!!!

I talk to other parents who have chosen to have their children in music or piano, gymnastics, skiing, indoor soccer, dance and drama and I wonder if my child going to be screwed up for life because he has not had the chance to experience that!!?

I am not sure if these feeling are stronger because we have chosen to homeschool for now and everyone tells me that my children are missing out on all these opportunities. People always talk about how homeschool kids are weird.... and I am sensitive to that, and want to make sure my kids do not fit that mold. I want them to have opportunities to experience things, and to try their hands at different sports, social groups, activities, skills and explore a variety of interests.


When I get panicky about such things and feel like I am not doing enough, that I am not enough... I remember that I have years to mold and teach these kids- it does not all need to happen today. I step back and gain perspective. A long term perspective allows me to see that when I look back at my education, I do not remember 3/4 of what I learned in school and that I don't remember much of grammar- but I am a well balanced adult. I see that my oldest is 6 and if he wants to pursue music (or anything else for that matter) one day when he is older, he will be able to do so, and he will be able to make up anything lost in this time when he has been busy being a child.

I step back even further and try to gain a heavenly perspective and realize that my goal as a parent is much larger than "educating" and "socializing" my boys. God's call to me as a parent is to raise a disciple and though I believe He wants me to train my boys to read and write and be well educated, more than anything He wants me to train their hearts to love Him. And by allowing my boys time to be home with me more I am hoping to have more time for those teachable moments, and to train them up in the way He would have them go. And this heavenly perspective calms my beating heart. It brings me back to my calling and forces the pressures of the world away. It is a HUGE calling, and I know I can't do it alone, but I know that I am parterning with the Creator of the Universe (and my husband and our community) in this goal and having a team mate with the kind of power that He has, allows me to have confidence.

I am thankful that though I will never be enough, and that there will always be another opportunity around the corner, that HE is enough for all of us.



experiential learning

We know it's true for us as adults. We learn the best through experiences. The things that stick out most in our minds are lessons learned through the hard times, through learning it ourselves. I love to read and there is great value in gathering information through text. However, I am a big fan of learning through doing.

When we quit school for the Christmas break, I told my son that after Christmas we would be doing a science unit about Building Things. He is a boy. And he is a farm boy. He has always loved tools, machinery, blocks, and this Christmas was all about Lego. I have been excited all year about starting this unit about building things because it would be a fun project based subject. I signed out several books on the topic, and got our popsicle sticks all gathered and we were ready to go!

We gave said son K'nex for Christmas. At first he looked at me and said," but Mom, I wanted Lego!" Don't worry, he did get Lego, it just came from his grandparents. I knew that he would love K'nex once he got into it, and it didn't take long. I mean, this stuff is amazing! The kit we gave him even has a motor and a wind up gear thingy... he was hooked. At first he followed the instructions to a tee, but quickly he began designing his own creations. After each building session or project completion, he would look at me and say, "Mom wasn't that a great Building Things project!" Priceless. It was Christmas holidays and here he was on his own experimenting with building, learning from his mistakes and designing his own machines! I was thrilled.

He built this awesome farm machine thing- it was some sort of plow that actually drove because it was connected to the motor. He was so proud and showed it to everyone who came foot into our house. My husband's Aunt came over for a visit, and the boys practically blew her over with their excitement to show her and tell her about their creations. At this point my son even said, "I like K'nex even better than Lego!" He came a long ways in a short time. And he has learned so much through his play... his experimental learning.

At first he was disapointed because he wanted something else. But through the experiences he has had with K'nex he has learned many valuable things, things that will aid him in future projects. I wonder... how often do we look at God and say, "But I wanted ___________, not __________...." and then fail to see learn what He had in mind for all of it, because we are too stubborn to work with what He gave us? Sometimes the path ahead of us is not what we would have chosen, but He wants us to learn something through it. I know I can look back and see evidence of this in my life.

always changing

Life never stands still.

I don't mean the chaos that I live in with 3 busy boys...

I mean the ebbs and flows, the changes and challenges, the seasons, the hills and valleys. Like the ocean, life never stands still.

I noticed this most clearly when I had my first child. Just when we got used to whatever stage he was in, he would change. We would just get him used to sleeping in his bed, and then we'd go away only to endure weeks of unsettled sleep afterwards. We would reach that comfortable place with friends and then they'd move.  And then there are the big hurdles, a new job, a move, another baby. I am talking about my life.

It never stays the same. I always say we need a better routine, but when I get one established, something changes and we loose what we had gained.

I have recieved news from a few friends who are pregnant- first babies, second babies, third babies, and fourth babies. Evidence of the reality that life never stays the same.

But there is one thing in our life, amidst all the highs and lows, that does not change.

 It is HE who is the begining and the end, I AM, the rock on which we stand. HE is solid, true, eternal. HE is the arms that hold us when we can not go further. HE is the one who rejoices with us louder than all others. It is HE who knows that we can do this. We can do this. Even if the day brings another baby teething, potty training, a reluctant reader, financial strain, marriage difficulties- He is cheering us on and LOVES us.

Somedays, I forget. Somedays when things get hard I forget to turn to the arms that are waiting for me. I turn to chocolate, friends, husband or escaping through a novel. But all the while He has been sitting there waiting for me to pour out my heart. He knows it all, but He still wants us to share it. He is my bestest best friend, and often when things change, I forget Him.

But when I do remember that amidst any and every storm He is holding me, there is an amazing peace that comes to me. There is the realization that He knows what's happening, and HE cares. Doesn't matter what IT is, HE cares.  That is huge. Doesn't matter if I haven't talked to Him in weeks... He cares, His love overflows.

Are you ever troubled?

This is copied directly from "My Utmost for His Highest," by Oswald Chambers.  I hope that's ok. I really felt like I was suposed to share this today.

"Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you..." John 14:27

There are times in our lives when our peace is based simply on our own ignorance. But when we are awakened to the realities of life, true inner peace is impossible unless it is received from Jesus. When our Lord speaks peace, He creates peace, because the words that He speaks are always, "Spirit, and they are life" (John 6:63). Have I ever received what Jesus speaks? ".... My peace I give to you..." ---a peace that comes from looking into His face and fully understanding and receiving His quiet contentment.

Are you severely troubled right now? Are you afraid and confused by the waves and turbulaence God sovereignly allows to enter your life? Have you left no stone of your faith unturned, yet stull not found any well of peace, joy or comfort? Does your life seem completely barren to you? Then look up and receive the quiet contentment of the Lord Jesus. Reflecting His peace is exhibiting the freedom to turn your mind to Him. If you are not right with God, you can never turn your mind anywhere but on yourself. Allowing anything to hide the face of Jesus Christ from you either causes you to become troubled or gives you a false sense of security.

With regard to the problem that is pressing in on you right now, are you "looking unto Jesus" (Hebrews 12:2) and receiving peace from Him? If so, He will be a gracious blessing of peace exhibited in and through you. But if you only try to worry your way out of the problem, you destroy His effectiveness iin you, and you deserve whatever you get. We become untroubled because we have not been taking Him into account. When a person confers with Jesus Christ, the confusion stops, because there is no confusion in Him. Lay everything out before Him, and when you are  faced with difficulty, bereavement and sorrow, listen to Him say, "Let not your heart be troubled..." (John 14:27)

If this message has spoken to you, as it did me and you need someone to talk- please let me know, and we will be in contact :)

just like dad

I just watched my 5 year old son running.

To the end of the lane way and back 6 times. I have no idea what distance this is.  He even stretched to start and did some cool down stretches at the end.

He is training actually. For a 1 km run that our city is hosting for children in a month.

He wants to be just like his dad.

He wants to train, run and race.

He wants to make us proud.

In his head he is an amazing track star.

It was so cute watching him. So serious, so focused, working so hard.

But he is more than cute.


<><><> 

this was taken a year ago at a 1 km race- prouder than proud!

He even had a running birthday party last year :)

"Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receice the price for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven." Philippians 3:13-14

 He made me think about how much my children want to be like their earthly dad. He is definatley a man whom I would like my children to grow up and be like one day. It makes me happy to see my kids want to be like him. They have observed their dad through the years as the man of character and strength that he is. Fun, funny, respectful, prayerful, devoted, honest, hard working ...and the list goes on.

It made me hope that my kids also see their heavenly Father that clearly in our lives and those around them and that they will be emulating Him too.

It made me wonder if they see Him in us, and if what they see makes them want to know Him too. Is what they see something they want to live one day too?

Are we doing a good job of teaching them who their heavenly Father is so that they can model their lives after Him?




If you are reading my blog and enjoying it, you could a) comment on a specific post to let me know that you are reading and what it is that you like or b) become a follower of the blog so that I know you are reading. I would really like to know who it is that is reading :)