I could BE the joy!

This is absolutely amazing. Every mother needs to read this!
From pages 193 and 194 of "One thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp


" God calls me to DO thanks. To give the thanks away. That thanks-giving might literally become thanks-living. That our lives become the very blessings we have received.
I am blessed.
 I can bless.
 Imagine!
 I could let Him make ME the gift!

I could be the joy!

I scour pots and grin silly: I can wash feet here by washing dishes. My heart can enter into communcion anywhere and anywhere my hands can encact thanksgiving. The tap water runs hot over my hands and I rinse steel. The world gleams. Christ's ministry began with His miracle of turning water into wine at the marriage feast in Cana. And at the close of His earthly ministry, Christ turns from the wine of the Last Supper back to the water, the water for washing of feet....

Scratching a stubborn pot furiously with a wire scrubby,  I remember it again, what I once read of liturgy. That liturgy has its roots in the Greet word leitorgia, meaning 'public work' or 'public servant.' The meaning! This life of washing dishes, of domestic routine, it can be something wholly different. This life of rote work, it is itself public work, a public serving--- even this scrubbing of pans- and thus, if done unto God, the mundane work can become the living liturgy of the Last Supper.
 I could become the blessing, live the liturgy!
I rinse pots and sing it softly, "This is my song of thanks to You..."
In the moment of singing that one line, dedicating the work as thanks to Him, something- the miracle- happens, and every time. When service is unto people, the bones can grow weary, the frustration deep.

 Because, agrees Dorothy Sayers, "Whenever man in made the centre of things, he becomes the storm- centre of trouble. The moment you think of serving people, you begin to have a notion that other people owe you something for your pains... You will begin to bargain for reward, to angle for applause."


When the laundry is done for the dozen arms of children or the dozen legs, it's true, I think I'm due for some appreciation. So comes a storm of trouble and lightning strikes joy.

 But when Christ is at the center, when dishes, laundry, work, is my song of thanks to Him, joy rains. Passionately serving Christ alone makes us the loving servant of all. When the eyes of the heart focus on God, and the hands on always washing the feet of Jesus alone-- the bones, they sing joy, and the work becomes worship, a liturgy of thankfulness.

"The work we do is only our love for Jesus in action," writes Mother Teresa. "If we pray the work... if we do it to Jesus, if we do it for Jesus, if we do it with Jesus.... that's what makes us content."



Never thought I'd be....

and so I struggle sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I thought I'd get married, and thought I'd have kids, but I always imagined my life to be so different than this!! I have always loved children. I just thought I would be a working mom. In the city. My children in daycare and at school. I imagined easy money and living the high life. I imagined nights out on the town with friends, having lots of hobbies apart from my family. I never pictured God having any impact on my life.

And so reality is... God impacts every aspect of my life.  I married a man (truthfully we were barely out of our teens) whose values were more important to me than his bankbook. He is hardworking, honest and lives apart from the pressures of society. He keeps me grounded.

Five years ago, we moved with our baby from the city to the farm. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I left my community, my church, my identity and the job I would have loved to return to after I was done maternity leave. And then in the next 3 years we had 2 more kids... I had 3 boys in 3.5 years. At the time it seemed like a great idea. Now that my youngest is 2 I am questioning my sanity.

And now, 5 years after moving to the farm, to this life I never thought I would have- I would say that I am coming to terms with things. I have made decisions that are radically changing the landscape of our life. I am homeschooling my children. I am pursuing a homemaker lifestyle- that of gardening, preserving, freezing and homemade things. My hobbies are mostly in the home and are creative- scrapbooking, card making, sewing, cooking.

I am striving to be a servant- to my husband and children, my friends, my Lord. Especially in this crazy seeding season, I can get frustrated and feel like I am sentenced to be a slave to my family forever, but in reality, I should be looking for opportunities to be serving those blessings that God has given me. This is SO not easy for me... I am fiesty and selfish. I can be lazy and unmotived. I have a temper and am loud. This is not the life I expected, but I am getting used to it, and learning every day how to live in His strength.