is it ever enough?

I don't often give into the pressures of society telling me that my children should be doing such and such a thing... but when I am doing aligned homeschooling this year, I am feeling some weight on my shoulders.

My facilitator assures me that my gr.1 student is achieving or exceeding grade level in all areas right now.

But sometimes when I am working with him on reading or math, or when said facilitator sends me an email with strategies and suggestions, I get all panicky.  I wonder if I am doing enough grammar, spelling, or if he has a big enough sight word vocabulary? Am I reading enough to them? Do they know how to choose a good book? Is his writing good enough? Have I taught him story structure? Does he know how to plan a story? Does he know a variety of writing formats? He doesn't have his math facts memorized? He isn't doing enough mental math!!! He still writes his numbers backwards sometimes!!!

I talk to other parents who have chosen to have their children in music or piano, gymnastics, skiing, indoor soccer, dance and drama and I wonder if my child going to be screwed up for life because he has not had the chance to experience that!!?

I am not sure if these feeling are stronger because we have chosen to homeschool for now and everyone tells me that my children are missing out on all these opportunities. People always talk about how homeschool kids are weird.... and I am sensitive to that, and want to make sure my kids do not fit that mold. I want them to have opportunities to experience things, and to try their hands at different sports, social groups, activities, skills and explore a variety of interests.


When I get panicky about such things and feel like I am not doing enough, that I am not enough... I remember that I have years to mold and teach these kids- it does not all need to happen today. I step back and gain perspective. A long term perspective allows me to see that when I look back at my education, I do not remember 3/4 of what I learned in school and that I don't remember much of grammar- but I am a well balanced adult. I see that my oldest is 6 and if he wants to pursue music (or anything else for that matter) one day when he is older, he will be able to do so, and he will be able to make up anything lost in this time when he has been busy being a child.

I step back even further and try to gain a heavenly perspective and realize that my goal as a parent is much larger than "educating" and "socializing" my boys. God's call to me as a parent is to raise a disciple and though I believe He wants me to train my boys to read and write and be well educated, more than anything He wants me to train their hearts to love Him. And by allowing my boys time to be home with me more I am hoping to have more time for those teachable moments, and to train them up in the way He would have them go. And this heavenly perspective calms my beating heart. It brings me back to my calling and forces the pressures of the world away. It is a HUGE calling, and I know I can't do it alone, but I know that I am parterning with the Creator of the Universe (and my husband and our community) in this goal and having a team mate with the kind of power that He has, allows me to have confidence.

I am thankful that though I will never be enough, and that there will always be another opportunity around the corner, that HE is enough for all of us.



experiential learning

We know it's true for us as adults. We learn the best through experiences. The things that stick out most in our minds are lessons learned through the hard times, through learning it ourselves. I love to read and there is great value in gathering information through text. However, I am a big fan of learning through doing.

When we quit school for the Christmas break, I told my son that after Christmas we would be doing a science unit about Building Things. He is a boy. And he is a farm boy. He has always loved tools, machinery, blocks, and this Christmas was all about Lego. I have been excited all year about starting this unit about building things because it would be a fun project based subject. I signed out several books on the topic, and got our popsicle sticks all gathered and we were ready to go!

We gave said son K'nex for Christmas. At first he looked at me and said," but Mom, I wanted Lego!" Don't worry, he did get Lego, it just came from his grandparents. I knew that he would love K'nex once he got into it, and it didn't take long. I mean, this stuff is amazing! The kit we gave him even has a motor and a wind up gear thingy... he was hooked. At first he followed the instructions to a tee, but quickly he began designing his own creations. After each building session or project completion, he would look at me and say, "Mom wasn't that a great Building Things project!" Priceless. It was Christmas holidays and here he was on his own experimenting with building, learning from his mistakes and designing his own machines! I was thrilled.

He built this awesome farm machine thing- it was some sort of plow that actually drove because it was connected to the motor. He was so proud and showed it to everyone who came foot into our house. My husband's Aunt came over for a visit, and the boys practically blew her over with their excitement to show her and tell her about their creations. At this point my son even said, "I like K'nex even better than Lego!" He came a long ways in a short time. And he has learned so much through his play... his experimental learning.

At first he was disapointed because he wanted something else. But through the experiences he has had with K'nex he has learned many valuable things, things that will aid him in future projects. I wonder... how often do we look at God and say, "But I wanted ___________, not __________...." and then fail to see learn what He had in mind for all of it, because we are too stubborn to work with what He gave us? Sometimes the path ahead of us is not what we would have chosen, but He wants us to learn something through it. I know I can look back and see evidence of this in my life.

Things I need to remember...

This one made me laugh...

I am not alone! I sometimes forget that there ARE other people out there who have the same beliefs as I do regarding mothering, housekeeping, money, faith, material possessions, simplicity, gardening etc. I often feel as though I am going against the flow- and in today's society we are. Our family values people more than stuff. We do not believe in debt. We choose to be together. We choose to keep the TV off most of the time. We spend time reading the Bible together. We are heading towards a more intentionally simple life. We prefer food we have grown, created, or processed to something from a box with ingredients we can not read. I choose to stay home, and we choose to live on one income because it's important to us.

The last few weeks I have found some encouragement in the blog world, of people who live similarily to me, and many who are even more radical. I also read a book called "Organized Simplicity" which was greatly encouraging and inspiring. I kept telling my husband that there are other people out there who believe the same things as me!!!



I spent some time yesterday on the blogs "FIMBY" and "SIMPLE HOMESCHOOL" both sites left me feeling refreshed and ready face the days ahead. 

These are all things I need to remember. Maybe you can find encouragement in them too.

learning at the speed of life

Today, I realized one of the reasons I love home educating my child (ren).

The simplicity of it.

I know it can be complicated if I make it. But so much of what our children need to learn at this young age and stage, can be learned through life.


For example...

We have a garden(its so cool that it is at the 'producing stage!!!) and I was out with my almost 6 year old today. He learned so many things with me out there today, and in kitchen afterwards. We learned about potatoes, and worms, and peas, and why plants flower. We looked and saw which plants had too much water and which weren't getting enough sun. We saw where the deer were nibbling, we talked about the layout of the garden and needing better drainage. And then in the kitchen  when we were shelling peas - a whole ice cream pail of them... he created a game which included prediction and addition, and keeping track of the number of peas in each pod. And afterwards, he had to count his whole pile of "snaps" (that is what he calls the pods). Fabulous!!! So many things learned.


He has also learned from us the value of gathering produce when in season and preserving it for later. He knows where most of his food comes from and what eating healthy looks like. He knows that we don't always just by the peaches at the stand- because they may not be ripe enough, or too ripe, or too expensive.


In our house we can eat a meal completely produced by us--- how cool is that. The veggies from the garden, and the meat from my husband's hunting.


Lots of times, I doubt if I am teaching them things they really need to know, but when I look at these LIFE things that they are learning just by tagging along with us I realize they are just as important as any curriculum money could buy.

in need of discernment

I am sure that all parents struggle with these things...

What activities to register your children in, if any?

How to react when your child does _____________ ?

How many toys to allow your children to have?

How much TV, computer, iphone or video games to allow your children to play in a day?

How much do you give your kids for allowance?

At what age and how much housework do you get them to do?

Today I am struggling with some decisions about homeschooling next year. I really enjoyed it this past year. Because I was only doing kindergarten with Emmett and because he is pretty bright, it wasn't really that hard. We kind of did a delight driven learning thing. But we did some math and reading, mixed in with lots of stories and fun. To be honest, we spent very little time at the table doing 'school'. And it was great. As a family we did lots of reading and learned about things as life happened.

 But now with GRADE 1 looming over me... I have so much more pressure and expectations put on Emmett and myself.

I have decided to do  blended homeschooling this year, which means that certain subjects will be aligned to Alberta education standards. I choose which subjects I want to align in and I can also choose what I want to use to teach him- with the guidance of my facilitator.

 I spoke to her this morning... and I am overwhelmed. I am scared. It is scary stepping into something new. Though she can verbalize the expectations and send me checklists, there is a certain fear that Emmett and I won't measure up. Uggggh!

That is not why I am homeschooling. The delight driven learning appeals to me a lot more than pushing through the workbook so that we get credit for it. Sigh. And then she recommends certain curriculums and resources for me to look into- double uuuugggggh! Too many choices and options. How does one know if that program or workbook will work with their child? What if we hate it? I know that truly nothing is lost if we start something and don't finish it. But I would rather buy something and love it, and do great at it.

And so the kids are sleeping, and I am pouring over the catalogues and the websites trying to fill in the gaps in my program plan. I am trying to decide if I want to align to Alberta educations outcomes for Social Studies (probably not) and Science (maybe)- and my head feels like its about to explode.

But on the other hand- looking at some of the materials is very cool! I love certain books we will be reading. I love that he will be reading more and more on his own. I love the math program we are using (Singapore Math). I love the Living Books on Nature. I love that we will be learning certain Science topics together - Building Things, Senses, Colors, the Needs of Plants and Animals. Though these subjects seem young for Emmett, they will be great for us to do together with his younger brothers. There are parts of this planning and preparing and organizing that I love- and others that I hate.

I am in need of discernment, what is best for my family? What is the best for Emmett? What is the best for me?