rambling...

I don't feel especially inspired today. Nothing too important to say.... I will ramble instead, which I am good at!

I have been thinking about savoring the moment. I know that I have 3 busy, loud, needy kids who always need me- but I mean, drinking in the minutes, the hours, the days... to take note of the things around me and be thankful for them. To look through the lense that He created these things, and He gave them to me. Things seem more beautiful when you look at them that way, right? Even the toy tractors lined up underneath my window sill are beautiful because they are the work of my son parking his machinery, taking care of his treasured possesions, and pretending to work like his daddy. Yes they take up space in my living room and are big and easy to trip over them, but they symbolize a boy at work and becoming the creation God wants Him to be. And so I am thankful.

I look out my windows that I attemped to wash this week, with the hose and a sqweege (sp!!??), and I see how terribly streaky they are! But I had fun with the boys doing this task, and we all took a turn spraying them down. The streaks remind me of that moment- the learning experience it was for all of us, and the beautiful weather we had.

I look beyond the streaks to see the green lawn under the grey and dreary sky. It is the kind of day that makes me want to go to a Starbucks and sit with a book in front of the fireplace. I will settle for sitting on my own couch, 3 boys surrounding me, infront of my fireplace (no fire in it) and reading Bear Brownie to my kids.

Again looking out the window at the weather, I see the fields that my husband and help seeded this spring and I know that the rain that falls will feed the seeds, water the plants and in turn, bring forth a crop. This is a good thing :) I will not complain about the rain.

In savoring the moments, we need to slow down, to open our eyes to see things differently. Stop rushing, stop pushing our kids to hurry up. Honestly, how much of the frustration in my days has come from the unnecissary rushing I am so caught up in? If I would just let go of that, we would be happier. All of us.

Ok on another note- this challenge I've put on myself - see "Am I up to the Challenge?" and "Clothing Convictions" is proving harder than I had thought! The no shopping for 90 days is HARD.  How many times in a day do I think about buying something? How many times a day do I think "oh that's a good deal"? I am catching myself now, and its shocking me! Its ridiculous. Little things, like while dressing today the thought came to mind, " I should get a different scarf for this outfit," and, "Emmett would probably really enjoy a baseball glove, we should get him one," and, "Ooooh, a garage sale- I bet there are some good deals!" Seriously not that any of those things on their own are bad, but its like I'm always thinking of something new (or used) to buy. I have been addicted. I am so challenged by this because I am actually noticing it. It is blatantly in front of my face. I can not ignore it. And its crazy. I have always thought of myself as careful with money, and that I don't shop too much, or spend too much. But reality is staring back at me. I am always on the look out for the next thing, for something.

The actual 45 for 45 remix part is actually fun- I'm dressing differently and it's much easier to get dressed in the morning.I can see all my choices when I open my closet doors.  I am really enjoying it. But then again, this is like day 3 - we'll see how I feel after day 43! I have not yet selected my shoes- I noticed last night that I have 10 pairs of summer shoes and sandals. I love my summer shoes! I don't know if I'll be able to choose. Do I have to? Do shoes really have to be part of my 45 items?

And finally, an interesting quote from the book I am reading.

"Farmers, we think we control so much, do so much right to make a crop. And when you are farming, you are faced with it every day. You control so little. Really. It's God who decides it all. Not us." Ann Voskamp