It was the best of times... it was the worst of times...

Harvest is here!!!

I am both excited and filled with dread.

I have a love/hate relationship with harvest.

My husband and children glow throughout harvest- the work, the machinery, the team together, the race, the challenge, the culmination of a years work. My family lives and works for this time of year.

I love it too. I love the tractor rides. I love the way they love it. I love the excitement and the push to achieve the goal.

As wonderful as harvest is, it is also the most stressful time of year for our family. It all hinges on this. We don't have control over all of the factors that make a successful harvest- a lot of it is out of our hands. We depend on the weather. We depend on the help of others. We depend on strong healthy bodies and machinery not to break down.

I am a single mother basically through harvest. My husband is wonderful and does take the kids for rides and gives me a break that way. But all the cooking, cleaning, waking up, feeding, bathing, bedtime, discipline etc falls on my shoulders throughout harvest. If I don't do it, it won't get done because hubby is harvesting.

I used to be bitter and angry about this. I would pick fights, I would pout and feel sorry for myself. We have had some of the biggest fights of our marriage during harvest.

I have grown up a bit (I think). Each year is a little easier, a little more enjoyable. And this year my challenge- my mantra- my daily thought is to "Die to self." This season is not about me. I need to put others first.  Sure, I need to maintain my health and my sanity, but beyond that, we all have to give ALL we have. I need to serve my husband, my kids and my family in a totally unselfish way. I need to push beyond what I am comfortable with and give a little more than I want to. I need to get over myself and just do it. Hmmmm...

This is my goal this harvest.